It's been a rough 48 hours. I must have caught what's known as "con crud" because something is really going to town on my system! Staying positive though. Focusing on healing and rest.

I'm reading in A Return to Love again and am in love with today's lessons:

- When we have total commitment in our relationships they don't compete with each other
- Relationships are eternal & infinite - love adds to love
- Our needs are not separate, what goes around does in fact come around, so when we spread love and light that is what returns to us
- Love is not neutral. Marianne says, "It takes a stand" (168).
- "Often we long for another person because, in an invisible, intangible realm, we're still communicating, still connecting, still seeking resolution" (168).
- "Every intense encounter represents a deep and complicated karmic connection. An ending relationship is much like a death, and in many cases the sadness is even greater" (169).

This all speaks to me. I love that relationships don't have to compete with each other. Marianne uses an "ex" and a new spouse as an example. We often label the marriage that wasn't successful second rate. This implies that there isn't room for the love in that relationship. But this is not true! Love adds to love. You can have a perfectly loving, kind, gracious relationship with an ex that in no way takes away from the love or commitment with a new partner. This makes sense to me.  It just initially feels so backward because of the way we've been programmed by our culture to think.

I have a hard time forgiving other people for hurting me. I take full accountability of that. I am searching for the space inside me that can love them anyway, to see things from their perspective. There are people I have hurt that I think about daily and wish I could stand with, face-to-face and make peace. This is why the idea of relationships being in an infinite dialogue makes so much sense to me. I think we all struggle with finding resolution in something in our lives particularly for this reason.

Love takes a stand. Love is powerful. You cannot actively hate and love someone at once. Love is a challenge. It leaves us vulnerable and wide open for scrutiny. But it's only there that we are our greatest versions of ourselves. Only when we love do we fulfill our greatest potential. Love has the ability to heal the world. Love can truly create any experience we want in our lives.

I am grateful for these lessons today. And for the agency to freely choose love, every day, one at a time.