"...Creative living is a path for the brave. We all know this. And we all know that when courage dies, creativity dies with it. We all know that fear is a desolate boneyard where our dreams go to desiccate in the hot sun." - Elizabeth Gilbert

"Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are within you?" -E.G.

I am 12 pages into Big Magic by Elizabeth Glibert and already loving it. It is a wake up call. As I have mentioned before, I blame a great deal of my loss of self and break with creativity to motherhood and marriage because both of those things take tremendous sacrifice and selflessness. I have to worry about others' needs first. Then there is the isolation that comes with motherhood (which makes absolutely no sense to me. I am open to being around people and welcome them with open arms into my heart and home, even when it's a mess, because with children, it just is). I suppose neither of those is really the root of the problem though. I think I have let fear creep in and take up ownership somewhere inside of me and in turn, have unknowingly evicted courage.

I am at a point in my life where I can remember moments and people with whom I have been the happiest (I'm an extrovert - people breathe life into me; not being surrounded constantly by people is excruciating), but I can't seem to recall something I am truly passionate about, other than traveling. What are my talents? How do I find and bring forth the treasures within me, as Liz Gilbert proposes? What can I do to tap into my creative self and bring hidden treasures to the surface?

I think I will start off by making room for fear, as Liz does in her book.

Dear fear, my old companion,

I recognize your shadow as you trail silently behind me trying to remain unseen. I feel your presence like an itch that I just cannot seem to find the source of. I realize that your greatest thrill comes from jumping right out in front of me the exact moment I decide to follow my heart. I thank you for your presence. You've given me a (false) sense of security in remaining just where I am. You've shown me that it's easy living within my comfort zone. But I intend to reach beyond you. You will no longer stop me from living my best life. Whoever I am meant to be, you will not keep me from her. I am going to find my passion, follow my dreams and love myself even while you whisper doubts into my ear. I will surround myself with people who both fill me up and inspire me. Especially those who challenge me and encourage me to reach further. I will slip you into my pocket, in case I need reminding later. But you are just a silent passenger now.

J