Being a stay at home mom is hard!

Becoming a mom has been a beautiful blessing. I feel like I was born to be my sweet, adventurous, kindred spirit son's mother. I wake up every day with a more profound purpose and sense of direction. There is nowhere I'd rather be. In my heart of hearts and dream of dreams, watching my son learn to climb just about everything, make his way into cupboards-his newest thing is sitting on the kitchen counter and moving every single utensil from their nice and neat container into my water bottle; it's an absolute dream. BUT, it has completely wreaked havoc on my identity! It's lonely being a stay at home mom, a mom in general. Trying to make mom friends is a whole new ballgame. Finding common interests, trying with every interaction to not just resort to small talk, but to really delve deep and get to know other women is more difficult than I imagined it would be. It feels like starting Junior High again and everyone has their "group," and I am the awkward kid on the side, like "hey! Wanna be my friend?" There are the unsolicited advice givers, the chronic complimenters, but I'm never sure if they really want to be my friend or if it's just for show. I'd like to assume they are being genuine. Back to identity loss though, I feel like a lot that makes me uniquely me has taken the back burner and is slowly disappearing. I can't hop on a plane and explore a new city/country. My "tribe" - the people who I think I mistakenly attached a large portion of my identity to, are far away and we are all moving in different directions. Such is life. I don't' have the resources to learn a new language or run to a fancy fitness class. (I'm now resorting to youtube, which is actually a great resource for a variety of workout routines). I can't even just go to a movie with my husband anymore. I have this incredible little human being with me all the time. Which I love. We are also so blessed to have a full-time working and schooling husband/daddy who works tirelessly to make sure our needs are met. He even gets up in the middle of the night with our baby so that I can get some much needed shuteye. I think I just need to redefine who I am now that everything in my life has changed, as more than just me. I am a mama bear, a nurturer, a healer, a little someone's everything. And every opportunity that I had before, every passion I wanted to pursue and dream I imagined is still out there. I just need to get creative finding ways to reach them. The road might be longer and funkier, with some mismatched socks and cheerios spilt across blacktop, but I can do it. They say it takes a village to raise a child. I really need to find my village. My circle. And then I think I will feel a little more whole, a little more myself. ?